Not ashame of my past

I  have these moments where I reflect on the past, there were times I let it make me feel less than. The art of hiding my past was a job. Finding my place in life was like a tug of war. 70% of the time I felt that scaling the fence between right and wrong was ok “just as long as I didn’t get caught”. Slowly unknowingly I was killing my spirit the very thing that makes you want to live. Yes you can feel pain and certain emotions but losing your god given spirit can leave you empty and thats exactly how I felt. One of my favorite songs is “We’ve come a mighty long way” which is a old church song that best describes my life.

My goal is to connect with others that are on the path I was on, my past is very similar to what kids are facing now. My story and how I made it I hope can help someone. Ive been in jail numerous times, every chance I got I would steal,lie,runaway,drink etc. I thought that was living the life and no one could tell me otherwise. It took 2 major breaking points to shift my course.

1) I lost my first child “Tyler” he was 1 month “Very Painful”

2) One year later I was sleeping on the floor in jail 5 months pregnant with my daughter. “God Saved Me”

So why am telling everyone this? Because this was my life and going to hell and back and to hell again was my blessing. It made me the mother,sister,daughter,aunt,friend etc I am today and I’m not ashamed. I thank God for pulling me down just to embrace me again. Holding my head high use to be just a dream, Now happiness and joy is abundance and success is evident

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