My Small City/Town Complex

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I’m from a very small town called Badin located in NC and I live in a small city called Albemarle. The kind of place where everyone knows everybody or related to them lol Their are some perks to small city living such as low crime rate and trust it doesn’t take long to find out what they did in the newspaper right in the “Blotter” section. Traffic isn’t bad unless you’re trying to get to Wal-Mart on Friday then you’re screwed. The down side is people are so nosey and not the regular nosey I mean the “I’m bored so let me see what other people got going on” nosey. It’s doesn’t take long to find out who’s doing who and what and with social media so popular it spreads  like wild fire.

I have a love/hate for it, I love the fact I see my classmates out and about but some I see some aren’t doing well so it hurts a little. I love the fact my daughter isn’t growing up around drugs and gunshots around her, but I wonder what will life be like for her when she ventures outside of this small city world. I love to see her classmates are my classmates kids I cant describe what that feels like. But the way the world is now I wonder how many of her classmates will make it through with her. I pray for better times with the upcoming generation. I hate the fact that being in a relationship where more than likely the person your with has been with at least two to three people in a room or have kids by them. It’s rough but entertaining also, imagine watching people that have slept with each others man and fought and blast each other on Facebook sit and take selfies together and call each other boo and bae. Imagine seeing men hanging out with the same dudes that shot their family member or close friend. That’s small town living for you, it’s bittersweet but in a place where you cant hold a grudge because families grew up together and known each other to long. In a big city their wouldn’t be any of this that’s a fact.

Life is what you make it whether in a small city or major city you  determine what kind of life you choose to live. I like to think I’m a small town woman with big city dreams. I can do what I do anywhere but if I couldn’t do it here first I shouldn’t do it anywhere else. I love to hate it and I hate that I love it.

Complicated Love

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I don’t want to let you go and I’m sure you know. You don’t want to let go and that I know. So many situations in our lives has made it hard for us to even entertain a “Us” life. But I value having you in my life even thou it’s no the way I want you in my life. I miss smelling you and being near you, You don’t even have to touch me and I can feel you all over me. Pacing myself trying to play it cool I just want you no one else just you. So complicated and misunderstood but I get it I get you. This complicated love isn’t for anyone to understand but me and you.

It’s Been a Long Time!!!

I know I’ve been missing in action, but I promise I’ve been busy doing good stuff and not very bad things lol I’ve finally stepped up and I’m taking my cake decorating talents seriously. I never really thought that the things I do people would actually want to buy them!!

So I’ve worked day and night on learning new techniques and improving recipes. My daughter said she was so proud of me :) That’s priceless… So Hello Everyone my name is Shanae and I the owner of “Nae Nae’s Petite Treats!!!!  Below is some of my creations, This is a huge turning point in my life. I’ve chose to step out the box and commit to pushing myself and believing in me.

 

 

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My Main Purpose

On February 11 2004 I gave birth to my first child my son Tyler, He was premature. He was a real fighter and he forever changed my life. He passed away one month and a day later. My love for him is hard to put in words. I miss him so much. He would have been 10 years old this year.

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One year later to the day on February 18 2005 I gave birth to my daughter Melah. She just turned 9 What a blessing!! I have a angel above and one here with me. She has such a huge personality and brings me so much joy.

So the month of February is a reminder of what matters the.most to me. My purpose is so clear

Searching Heart

My heart roams for hours and days and years, Searching for what it loans for. My heart…broken over and over and betrayed so hurt and confused. It weeps softly in the night and prays for a better day when the sun raises.

My heart speaks so profoundly when it feels like we’ve found the ONE, When I’m sick and tried this battered and bruised heart of mines still pushes on. It’s strong…it’s determined. One day I asked, All of the things we’ve been through and overcome just to endure it once more will anyone accept us?
I mean look at us. We’re in shambles!

My heart spoke and with no doubt,  said the one we seek is in search of us also and will take us just as we are. The act of True Love looks beyond all the hurt and pain and where you lack they will build you up, Where they are weak you will be strong.

Bless my heart it’s truly amazing

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Through my Daughter’s Eyes

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For Christmas my very special  8 year old daughter made my dreams come true, I love to bake and I often talk about starting my own one day so she made me one :) She put so much detail and thought into it….so amazing!! She worked on it for 2 weeks I had no clue that was what she making.

Words cant describe the feeling that came over me, She told me that she believes in me and I will have my bakery.

Being a parent can be so rough and it’s moments like this that makes me value my position so much more. Kids see things that we don’t they are so innocent and truthful. You may think they aren’t paying attention but they are so inspire them and instill positive vibes in them.

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