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Stress I’m done with you

27 Sep

It’s one thing to have your own stress but it’s another to take on others stress.  My mind, body and soul has suffered from the stress that I carry. I know I cant continue to grow with this mess in my life.

So let me start like a A&E intervention: (One of my Fav. shows by the way)    

Dear Stress,

Your presence in my life as affected me in the following ways:

-When I can’t face the things you put me through I try to eat the hurt and pain away that you cause, What good is working out if every time you pop up I’m eating anything in site.

-I doubt myself and my ability to do what I know I do best.

-When you come in the form of putting others needs before mines I feel that maybe I’m just living to please others and my happiness doesn’t matter.

-Stress you have the biggest affect on my body, I have boils that hurt me so bad under my arms and ulcers that upset my stomach when you refuse to leave.

-My patience is so thin with my child at times because you’ve worried me all day. Its not fair to her that I let you get in the way of our relationship.

Stress I know there will be times you will be around and I will have to deal with you but I know that I put you more in my life than I need to. So I have to let you go.

No more taking one others people stress when I’m working to deal with mines. The wear and tear on my one and only body  has to stop. The blowing up at my daughter because of the stress she had nothing to do with has to stop.

I know it’s easier said than done to get you out my life but it’s a challenge I’m up for.

Hell go bother some one of my ex’s  Lol  Deuces

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I’m so worried about my health

27 Dec
Worriedface

Being that my daughter depends on me fully and I have to be not only her mother I have to be a her doctor and nurse her counselor and a good example of a mom and woman. I have neglected myself through the years. Being a parent means there will be times that your wants and needs will be put aside.

I have neglected my health.  I’m so worried that if something happen to me and God forbid that I have to be taken care of, Who will be there to take care of my daughter and I.  I know for a fact that I need to go to the doctor and get checked out. Truth is I have knot and I say knot because the word lump scares me, but its in my right breast.

I have a history of getting boils in my armpits so I just passed it off as one. It’s getting bigger and now my breast has become very dark in that area.  Like many others in the U.S. I dont have health insurance. At this point I could care less about that. I know that in order to continue to raise my daughter and be here for her I have to take care of myself. I have family on both my Mom and Dad’s side that has had breast cancer so that is what worries me the  most.

Scared out of mind at the moment….. Tomorrow I’m going to make an appointment. I cant put it off any longer, 2012 is on the way and I have so many wonderful things planned.  I’m going to continue to pray and keep my Faith, If you have the time please say a small pray for me.

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