I remember when I was 6 and I had a really good friend in my class. We always played together and talked, we were very close. One day her parents came to eat lunch with her and we always sat beside each other so when I got to the table she was so excited to introduce us. But I could tell that they weren’t as receiving , they half smiled and gave each other a look. I had no clue what that look was but thinking back I know they weren’t happy about our friendship.
So the very next day I could tell she was treating me differently, no smiles no laughs. At that age most kids loan for a good friend so I was very hurt. I thought I did something wrong. At recess I asked was she mad at me, she said no but my Mommy and Daddy said we cant be friends, I asked why? My sweet little friend took my hand and pointed at my palm and said “If you were this color they wouldn’t care”. Then she turned my hand over and said, but you’re this color so I cant. I felt instant sadness, tears rolled down my face and she said I’m sorry and walked away.
Of course I knew that we were different colors but that didn’t matter because she was my friend. Neither of us cared about that. Her parents told her she couldn’t be my friend because of my color that was painful. I never blamed her for their ignorance but I was so hurt by it. I felt that being black was wrong and I couldn’t have her as a friend because of it. It’s hard to even think about it fully now without crying. It changed me.
It took sometime to embrace my “different” and I make sure that I continue to teach my daughter that everyone is different in so many ways. Don’t let their difference determine how you treat them, look deeper than what you see on the outside. You just might find a friend
Dear Friend……Your friendship is endless. It’s been a carefree adventure that’s given me the opportunity to accrue many things. Amazing things like kinship, which by the way came with irreplaceable incentives. This experience has not only cared for me but has made me strong….it’s given me an abundance of energy to do all that I must in the name of consistency and trust.
The saying goes, “A friend sticketh closer than a brother”…. and your level of friendship has not only raised the bar, but has taken the meaning of this saying further. You are my driving force, your unique blend of expression on one hand is productive and on the other hand tempting. You possess those element that inspire my desires and after it’s all been said and done, set my soul on fire.
When you smile my confidence is no longer needed, neither relevant because I’m reminded that the company that I’m in is an extension of myself . At times when I may not deserve it, you’ve remained by my side…..which made me realize you care! You’ve proven to be more than a friend because you’re always there. What I’m about to say may sound strange……..but even though all of the above that you do amazes me. Nothing make me more secure than the thought of knowing you will not be the one that will purposely hurt me.
“Friendships Nutshell” is a book by my girl Vonda G. Nelson. Check out her page at Friendship Nutshell She is very talented and crazy deep. She keeps it real and that’s what the world is lacking the most.
Oh how I love Kelly Clarkson‘s song Mr. Know it all I’m sure that most women have had that type of man in there life and this WAS mines.
Ok so I blurred his face but he knows. This man was a thorn in my side for the longest. When I wanted him he wanted to play games and lie and now that I am so over it here he goes trying to pop back in life. Again. Their was a time when I had no sense of when to let go and my love life became a revolving door. I allowed myself to be hurt over and over.
Trust if you let a person continue to walk in and out your life doing the same old mess they will keep coming back. I refuse to be that kind of woman and he claims that he has change and that is great for the next he decides to be with. I am grateful that I’m not that woman.
“A big part of letting go is recognizing when it is time to stay in a situation and when it is time to move on “- Darren L. Johnson
When you are young with not a care in the world you have no clue the value of some relationships. I do regret fighting off my maturity until I had no choice but to face it head on. Getting older is a blessing and the lessons are worth learning
My cousin, we haven’t spoken in years I would love to get back on speaking terms.