OK…the time has come. You have joined an online dating service or two. Now you must write that all-important profile… the one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams… but where to start? Maybe writing isn’t even something you think you do all that well. Even so, you can do this.
The first thing is to be absolutely be honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will like…maybe someday love…YOU….THE REAL YOU! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you won’t like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.
Accent the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don’t want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.
Describe the things that are vital in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.
Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. (Side Note)-Check “Craig’s List” for photographers that are looking to build their portfolio and most will take your picture for free.) This is so important. The picture is the FIRST thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.
Ok so I blurred his face but he knows. This man was a thorn in my side for the longest. When I wanted him he wanted to play games and lie and now that I am so over it here he goes trying to pop back in life. Again. Their was a time when I had no sense of when to let go and my love life became a revolving door. I allowed myself to be hurt over and over.
Trust if you let a person continue to walk in and out your life doing the same old mess they will keep coming back. I refuse to be that kind of woman and he claims that he has change and that is great for the next he decides to be with. I am grateful that I’m not that woman.
“A big part of letting go is recognizing when it is time to stay in a situation and when it is time to move on “- Darren L. Johnson
I know that the relationship a young girl has with her father plays
a major role in her life. Women if they realize it or not look for certain things in men that either compare to their father or father figure or can provide what their father didn’t. For security or validation. My dad and Mom have been married for 42+ years I love them both but, I adore my Mom. She was there for me and my siblings physically and emotionally. My Dad was there for us but not emotionally he was very detached. He made sure a roof was over our head and we had clothes etc. but that was it really.
I will say he was closer to me, I guess because I was the youngest. He spoiled me but he had terrible communication skills. Ever heard the saying it’s not what you say it’s how you say it? Well he had a way of making you feel less than with very little words. He would cut us down so quick and some of those moments left mental scars for life.
I watched my Mom cater to my Dad and shy away from his painful words and never stand up for herself or us. I vowed as a child to never ever be like that. The relationship between me and my Dad effected my relationships with men. For the worse. On one hand I wanted a stable man, he had to be able to support me, but not make more money than me. Then I wanted a man that let me have my way and never questioned me.
He had to be extra caring and loving and easy to talk to also. But not to easy he still had to have a back bone, but not to much of a back bone because I didn’t want a man to try and run me like my Dad did my Mom. But yet I found myself in emotionally abusive relationships trying to make it work. You see what I mean? I was all over the place and every guy and every thought in my head would lead back to my fathers ways. When I became aware of this cycle the easier it became to date men and not hold those things against them but it still is a process. There are woman out there just like me and have no clue why they come up empty in the dating pool. Come up for air and evaluate your father/daughter factor.