My Father/Daughter Factor

20 Oct

I know that the relationship a young girl has with her father plays

a major role in her life. Women if they realize it or not look for certain things in men that either compare to their father or father figure or can provide what their father didn’t. For security or validation. My dad and Mom have been married for 42+ years I love them both but, I adore my Mom. She was there for me and my siblings physically and emotionally. My Dad was there for us but  not emotionally he was very detached. He made sure a roof was over our head and we had clothes etc. but that was it really.

I will say he was closer to me, I guess because I was the youngest. He spoiled me but he had terrible communication skills. Ever heard the saying it’s not what you say it’s how you say it? Well he had a way of making you feel less than with very little words. He would cut us down so quick and some of those moments left mental scars for life.

I watched my Mom cater to my Dad and shy away from his painful words and never stand up for herself or us. I vowed as a child to never ever be like that. The relationship between me and my Dad effected my relationships with men. For the worse. On one hand I wanted a stable man, he had to be able to support me, but not make more money than me. Then I wanted a man that let me have my way and never questioned me.

He had to be extra caring and loving and easy to talk to also. But not to easy he still had to have a back bone, but not to much of a back bone because I didn’t want a man to try and run me like my Dad did my Mom. But yet I found myself in emotionally abusive relationships trying to make it work. You see what I mean? I was all over the place and every guy and every thought in my head would lead back to my fathers ways. When I became aware of this cycle the easier it became to date men and not hold those things against them but it still is a process. There are woman out there just like me and have no clue why they come up empty in the dating pool. Come up for air and evaluate your father/daughter factor.

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2 Responses to “My Father/Daughter Factor”

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  1. Grow Up « The Synergistic Pen - October 23, 2011

    […] My Father/Daughter Factor (thesugahill.wordpress.com) […]

  2. A Daughter’s Manifesto: « God's Grace, ftw. - October 26, 2011

    […] My Father/Daughter Factor (thesugahill.wordpress.com) […]

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